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They say everything changes once you have kids. But have you ever considered the changes to your love life? When you become a mom, your kids become a new and worthwhile sense of joy; they’re now your number one priority and captivate most of your time and energy. But that doesn’t mean your love life, especially physical intimacy, should need to take a back seat. Whether you’re a single mom getting back out on the dating scene, a first-timeparent to a newborn, or even a wife whose marriage has been lacking spark after raising kids, there are solutions to every mom’s differing sexual needs after kids.
Quit guilt-tripping yourself
In the same facet that moms shouldn’t feel guilty about not having sex, moms also shouldn’t be ashamed for desiring sex. After all, sex allows us to create a new life – it’s what made us moms. Not to mention the many proven benefits sex can have on our health and that it can be rewarding for relationships. Maintaining a healthy sex life does not make you a bad mom. It’s all about finding the balance between tending to your child(ren), while also making time to fulfill your own needs.
Don’t let body insecurities stop you
Women undergo many physical changes throughout and after pregnancy, like stretch marks, weight gain, loose skin, and even leaky breasts; all of which can take an emotional toll on our self-confidence making the thought of being intimate again unimaginable. However, you may be surprised by how quickly youfind yourself craving that physical connection again, and since women can ovulate as early as three weeks after childbirth, you’ll want to be prepared if you’re not ready for your family to grow again quite yet. If you’re hesitant to use birth control due to the worry of further weight gain, then fear no more. Most birth controls contain two hormones, a progestin and anestrogen. High levels of estrogen are associated with fluid retention (aka bloating and weight gain). But modern birth control pills nowcontain lower doses of estrogen and progestin, debunking the idea that birth control and weight gain are one and the same, so choosing the best birth control for you is that much easier.
Be creative and flexible
Another reason sex doesn’t always transpire after children is the concept that parenting is a 24/7 job. But like any other job, we all deserve a break at some point. A comfortable way to transition back into having a sex life is to plan a night alone with your partner by dropping the kids off at grandma or grandpa’s house for a night. Your mind can relax knowing that your little ones are in the trusted hands of a loved one. If you don’t have the luxury of a relative or babysitter, don’t give into the notion that you can’t ‘get it on’ just because the kids are home. Forgo your former expectations of sex and fit it in around your time. Have some ‘sexy time’ after the kids goto bed or before they wake up. Make use of nap times or even hop in the shower together for a steamy, intimate moment alone. Just make sure to lock the door!
Becoming a mom means learning new ways to adapt to everything you once did before children, including sex. Women may not have the same sex life they did before kids, but it’s possible that sex after children can be even better as it can teach women to love their natural body, and allow for more opportunities for spontaneity and rekindling romance.
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